Marshfire
SCENE START: 3:31::27 EST A fine, blustry day at the Jet-Puff Marshmallow Factory has just been made a little more suckier, as two photon blasts have ripped a tidy hole in the north-by-northwest exterior wall. Outside, voices can be heard, most notably, Rider, yammering on to his companion about how he saw in a human training film that they can assemble 'marsh-mellows' into an unstoppable gestalt of doom! CONS! BLITZWING, TWO MINUTES TO POSE AN ENTRANCE! Blitzwing got yanked off of his barstool... for this!? Blitzwing wears a surly grouse as he follows Rider, "You got a glitch in your CPU, don't ya?" gruffed the Triple as he followed along .. he'd just burn it all down anyway. Rider stares over at Blitzwing. "Who you callin a GLITCH, mecha?" He shoots some more wall, for fun. AUTOBOTS! TIMER STARTS NOW! Jetfire cruises in at high altitude, then comes down for a landing. The Jet-Puff Marshmallow factory had recently contacted him about a possible endorsment. Jet-Fire, Jet-Puff...anyway, Jetfire's curiosity was peaked! The Science could be afoot! Foxfire just happens to be here, possibly on...patrol? Who knows. He passes by the factory, and sees the hole! That's not good! He braces himself, and leaps through it, seeing Rider and Blitzwing. "...I'm not even gonna ask." CONS OMG "If you get scrapped I'm leaving you here." notifies Blitzwing as he folds down into a tank and starts dealing out some indiscriminate destructifacation and devastimaltoning. Blitzwing folds down into a heavily armored battletank...with.. part of a jet cockpit pocking forward from between his treads. Rider barges into the factory proper, making a beeline for the marshmallow-creation tanks; he has managed to rip one off of the assembly line and turns to see his possible attacker..a mecha-fox! "Aw, hell." BOTS! GO! Blitzwing says, "Don't TK me bro!" Jetfire takes one look at the factory from the outside, and then realizes he was sorely mistaken. How could Science possibly be afoot in a marhmallow factory?! But something must have been going on, with Decepticons on the scene. "I'll give you one warning shot." Ah, the Autobot way. Jetfire used Ballistic. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Jetfire's Ballistic attack. Foxfire stares at Rider. And stares. And stares. Finally, he lifts a paw and just points at him. "What in the *name of Primus* are you doing?!" And there's Jetfire. How nice. CONS! Rider stares blankly at Foxfire...then Jetfire..then Foxfire...then Blitzwing -- "The 'ell you doin, mecha?" -- then back to Jetfire, who just shot at him. "Oh, dat how dis is? Dat how /dis IS?/" With that, he sends a giant vat of marshmallow goo flying Jetfire's way. Splat! Tan Tank isn't nice, his turret tracks around as he rumbles into sight. Jetfire's shot goes wide of Rider, a warning? "Slag that." mutters Blitz as he took aim and lobbed a shell with a thunderous ''kapow', it impacted near Foxfire, creating a spray of marshmellows and shrapnel. Jetfire evades your disruptor attack. BOTS! Blitzwing strikes Foxfire with disruptor. Jetfire looks back and forth between Rider and Blitzwing. How did Jetfire's trained intellect miss this gigantic tank? Well, no time to worry about that now. He produces a small, almost elegant looking pistol and points it at Blitzwing. Jetfire strikes Tan Tank with his blinding back beam attack. "Whoa, hey!" Foxfire yelps, trying to shield himself. It doesn't work out so well. "I'll never understand anything you 'Cons do," he mutters after he recovers. He lunges at Blitzwing, attemping to latch onto his turret OH DEAR GOD ITS OUR TURN AGAIN Foxfire strikes Tan Tank with Bite. Tan Tank says, "Argh, it hurts and stings!" bellowed the tank as he was shotted and bitted, "Blarglflargl"" Rider curses as his marshmallow misses Jetfire. "Ain't dat always da /WAY/. Ain't nobody lookin out for a mecha!" He grabs the nearest thing he can find -- the marshmallow-goo inflow valve that up until recently was attached to a tank of marshmallow goo -- and aims it at Foxfire. "Here somethin' fo y'all peoples!" You strike Foxfire with Swinging for the Dolphence. for 8 points of damage. Rider says, "Ignore the attacknames! No time to change!" BOTS! IT BE YO TURN Foxfire grins. Foxfire holds on tight to the turret...until Rider knocks him off! He gets back up to his feet and immediately changes targets. Beware the fox claws! Foxfire used slash. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Foxfire strikes you with Slash for 4 points of damage. Jetfire says, "Foxfire!" He drops the black beam gun, then reaches behind his back and pulls out a smallish pistol. "Rider, isn't it? Did you know the Autobots maintain several secret prison planets?" Jetfire used laser. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Jetfire strikes you with minibot-sized thermal beam for 7 points of damage. CONS OH NOE Tan Tank sputters back into life, shaking with tanky anger and angst, "I'll baste you turkeys!" he barks incoherently. aiming his gun at a cat walk over Jetfire, thinking to bring it down around the mech. Blitzwing misses Jetfire with its laser attack. "Yeah, I done HEARD somethin' bout daaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHOHLOAHDITSTICKY" Rider is cut off and shoved back into the oncoming rush of marshmallow goo, foxbot in hand. His first reaction is to reach out and touch someone..that being Foxfire, and toss that someone back in Jetfire's direction! Jetfire evades your laser attack. Rider succeeds in grasping Foxfire, throwing him off-balance. Rider did that backwards, oops. BOTS! GO! Jetfire has to hop aside as the cat walk clatters to the ground where he was standing a second ago. He tosses the rifle back over his shoulder (where it lands next to the pistol he discarded earlier) as he turns on Blitzwing. He points an arm at the tank, and a small compartment opens up. Jetfire misses Tan Tank with his Pop-up laser attack. Foxfire actually WHEEEEEs as he goes flying...and ultimately misses Jetfire! He rights himself in mid air, lands on his paws, and rushes at Rider before pouncing at him. Foxfire used claw. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Claw attack. .........................CONS Tan Tank boos Jetfire's evasive nature, his canon lowering, leveling squarely on Jetfire, a shell loaded and fires, Jetfire's laser reflecting off his armored chasis somehow, Blitzwing strikes Jetfire with gauss. Rider .....ducks, as Foxfire flies over his head towards the marshmallow machinery. "Aw naw, we doin' dis up RIGHT, mechas!" For the first time, he actually whips out his /actual/ weapon, and aims it at Jetfire, sending a blast of something that isn't marshmallow right at the Autobot flier-scientist. You strike Jetfire with Mecha Please. BOTS! OH DEAR! Foxfire lands again, and whips around, promptly firing a pair of lasers from his optics. Foxfire used laser. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Laser attack. Foxfire says, "..." Rider says, "Shortposes FTW!" Jetfire is blasted back off of his feet by the shell, but before he can even fall to the ground he's suddenly blasted in the other direction. "Primus! This is getting ugly! (and I'm not just referring to Rider's audio unit)." He pulls out two large rifles of his own, one in each hand. Jetfire used gauss. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Jetfire strikes you with Glaive-Class railgun for 13 points of damage. OH GOD IT KEEPS GOING Tan Tank hoots triumphantly as his shell connects, "Yeah, how do you like that slag you slagging slagger?!" he hollars.. perhaps a little drunk as he transforms and stumbles about. perhaps booting a fox in his drunken tumble. From Tan Tank or Chubby Jet, Blitzwing rears up into his towering Decepticon warrior form. Blitzwing misses Foxfire with its kick attack. Rider gets the bajeesus blasted out of him by Jetfire, and is sent flying backwards...in Foxfire's general direction! Foxfire evades your ram attack. BOTS BOTS BOTS Foxfire evades Blitzwing, and darts out of Rider's way. "This is just crazy..." He attempts to bite down on Rider's leg. Foxfire used bite. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Foxfire strikes you with Bite for 2 points of damage. Rider says, "The last Bot and Con round took 2 minutes COMBINED :)" Foxfire grins. Foxfire can go REALLY fast if she doesn't worry about quality. :D Rider says, "That...is the point of tonight :)" Jetfire drops both rifles, where they land on the growing pile of earlier weapons. Now he pulls out a small, flat, strangely bent-at-the-middle piece of metal. "Blitzwing...compute quickly!!" Foxfire says, "SHHH." Jetfire strikes Blitzwing with Aussie' boomerang. Rider says, "HEY! That's Durango's bit!" CONS! GET THEM! Foxfire says, "Jeturango?" Jetfire says, "Stealing other people's attacks is Jetfire's (new) bit!" Blitzwing boots no fox, instead he falls down on his face.. into a pile of pillowy marshmellows, "They're earing my diodes!" he shrieks as he gets up, firing off a wild, crazy barrage of weaponized shootings, a boomerang knocking him about with a bit of love from down under.. but he's still shooting, shooting, shooting. Blitzwing strikes Jetfire with electricity. Foxfire says, "You can't take my FOXINESS away from me!" Rider stares in disbelief as a Foxfire bites down on his leg. "Ow, glitch! Dat hurt! Get yo punk-aft offa me!" He does what any well-adjusted mecha would do in this moment...he kicks the fox that bites him. Blitzwing says, "he's got a buster!" Foxfire evades your kick attack. BOTS! EEEE Rider says, "How do you /evade/ a kick from a person whose leg you are biting?!?!" Foxfire lets go before the kick lands. Thinking quickly, he decides to heat things up. A stream of flames flies forth from his mouth. Rider says, "Oh, like that." Foxfire says, "Like that. :)" Foxfire used fire. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Foxfire strikes you with Fire for 7 points of damage. Jetfire is riddled with holes! He points his fist at Blitzwing, even though they're on opposite sides of the factory. Jetfire misses Blitzwing with his flying fist attack. JESUS CHRIST ITS OUR TURN AGAIN Blitzwing 's diodes are perfectly safe and soon he calms down, wiping the pillowy confections away.. and suddenly he smells cooking mushrooms. His con sense suddenly flares to life and he narrowly evades the fist.. and charges in right behind it Ululating and waving his arms. Foxfire says, "How much longer do we want to keep going? :)" Rider ouches as Foxfire's....Fox....fire....eats away at his outsides. He reaches around for the only thing he can find, which just so happens to be a large mechanical Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man exhibit designed for factory tourists. He lobs it at Foxfire, marshmallow-aft side first! Blitzwing strikes Jetfire with ram. You strike Foxfire with blade for 7 points of damage. BOTS! Rider says, "Good question." Rider says, "Until first cou/end?" Foxfire is down to 50/75 end. Jetfire is about to get KO'd. :) Jetfire transforms into his quasi-themely gerwalk mode! Jetfire transforms into his superjet mode. Rider is at 37/70 Blitzwing says, "62/80." Foxfire yelps as he is hit. "That's playin' dirty! Fight fair!" There go the lasers again. Foxfire used laser. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Laser attack. Jetfire misses Blitzwing with his missile attack. Rider says, "ANy pose, JF? or just an attack? :)" Jetfire says, "I got nervous! The clock was ticking!!" OH WELL, TWO MINUTES IS UP! Blitzwing dodges like some crazy aft Triplechanger.. actualy he just sort of falls down, his sword flailing out as he topples. Foxfire hisses at the clock! Blitzwing strikes Autobot-Jet Hybrid with blade. Rider watches as a missile randomly misses Blitzwing...and he randomly evades a Foxfire laser. He shoots back..with his gun! Because that's what Decepticons do when the clock is ticking! Foxfire evades your laser attack. BOTS! OH LORD Foxfire evades the gunshot, for he is small and cute! He retaliates with his claws! Autobot-Jet Hybrid raises an arm to block the sword...and promptly gets it chopped off! "I may have to reevaluate the added value of this hybrid form..." Regardless, he points the other arm at Blitzwing and opens fire! Foxfire used slash. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Slash attack. Jetfire strikes Blitzwing with ballistic. CONS Blitzwing says, "MY EYES ARE FULL OF STARS!" he proclaims as he scrambles to his , bullets riddling his form as he flaill with punches "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"" Rider gets assaulted by cuteness, but counters with 100% GANGSTA. And by GANGSTA, I mean his fist. Foxfire evades your FRIDGE to the FACE. attack. Blitzwing misses Autobot-Jet Hybrid with its blow attack. bots bots Autobot-Jet Hybrid activates his thrusters, buzzing all around the factory. Whenever he gets a chance he pumps a few high-energy particle beams Blitzwing's way from his arm cannon. Jetfire misses Blitzwing with his particle beams attack. Rider says, "ahh i can't se my screen" Rider says, "ok back" Foxfire aieeeees. Or something. He grows desperate, and there go the rockets! Foxfire used rocket. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Rocket attack. Foxfire says, "That attack rarely hits. :(" oh dear god Blitzwing springs up and away from a laser, slow mowing as he wicked sweet twists in the air.. and shots electricity. Rider somehow deftly maneuvers and jostles for MISSING the rocket attack, and in return, sends a giant crate full of freshly-packaged JUMBO SIZE marshmallows at Foxfire. Blitzwing strikes Autobot-Jet Hybrid with taser. You strike Foxfire with disruptor for 6 points of damage. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Autobot-Jet Hybrid has to dodge aside from a few errant rockets, sending him RIGHT into Blitzwing's fire. "Foxfire! Watch where you shoot those things! You have to achieve a target lock first...like so!" Jetfire misses Blitzwing with his rocket, with the same exact intensity as gauss attack. Foxfire ows! That hurts! Well, if marshmallows can hurt, anyway. "Oh, uh, sorry, Jetfire!" He fires at Rider again...literally! Foxfire used fire. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Foxfire strikes you with Fire for 4 points of damage. Autobot-Jet Hybrid says, "Um...disregard that. Do as I SAY, not as I do!" CONS! SHOOT SOMEONE Blitzwing lands with a heavy thud, only then to get up and transform into Chubby Jet! Chubby Jet is fast for being the fat kid of the air and he zooms right in at Jetfire, firing with bullets Blitzwing transforms into a fat fighter jet, all purple, tan, and chubby! Blitzwing misses Autobot-Jet Hybrid with its ballistic attack. Rider gets all shook up by Foxfire's fire once more, and takes cover in what used to be the foreman's office..which leaves most of him still well outside his makeshift base. He grabs the nearest thing... a filing cabinet .. and sends six years' worth of business reports flying towards Foxfire's head! Foxfire evades your laser attack. BOTS! Foxfire hopes this ends soon. Running out of poses! Rider says, "WEee" Autobot-Jet Hybrid spins away from the bullets...then sets himself on a direct collision course with Blitzwing. "This will hurt you more than it hurts me...(I can only hope)". Jetfire strikes Chubby Jet with ram. Rider says, "First one to Cou/end call it, and we'll pose out!" Jetfire is almost there... Foxfire darts out of the cabinet's way. He snaps his jaws! Foxfire used bite. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Bite attack. CONS OH CAN SOMEONE JUST DIE Chubby Jet zips and zooms through the impossibly large factory.. only to discover himself on a collision course with Jetfire.. he pours on the throttle! Blitzwing strikes Autobot-Jet Hybrid with ram. Jetfire falls to the ground unconscious. Rider somehow rolls out of Foxfire's grasp, and sends a pimpslap back his way! You strike Foxfire with Swinging for the Dolphence. for 8 points of damage. OH NOE JETFIRE IS DOWN Rider says, "So, we pose out now?" Autobot-Jet Hybrid falls to the factory floor. Luckily, he lands in a vat of marshmallows which cushions his fall. Unluckily, they're all molten-hot, burning him. Jetfire says, "I guess that was my pose-out. :)" "Jetfire!" Ignoring the (painful) last attack, Foxfire rushes to his fallen comrade! CONS! Chubby Jet groans, "Oh slag my everything.." utters the dang near crashed chubby jet as he warbled and wobbled in the air befor rocketing away into the sky, "I'll get you next time Gadget, Next tiiiiime!" he howled, leaving a trail of smoke in his wake. Blitzwing begins retreating, leaving itself vulnerable to parting shots from Autobot-Jet Hybrid . Rider stands up in the foreman's (former) office, taking most of the second level observation deck with him. "Aw YEEAAHHHHhh...uh...where you goin?!!?!?!?!" He stares at his comrade in disbelief, as Blitzwing retreats! bots! Autobot-Jet Hybrid raises one burned, chopped arm painfully. "Fox...fire...always remember...to...to...to aim your rockets first next time!" Blitzwing says, "three points from couend." Rider relaxes the two-minute rule for the last roudns :) Foxfire lowers his ears. "Yeah...sorry about that..." He suddenly whips around and fires his lasers at Rider! "Get outta here!" Foxfire used laser. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) Foxfire strikes you with Laser for 5 points of damage. Oh, we're still goin? OKAY THEN! Chubby Jet ran away, far far away. Chubby Jeeeeeeeeeet, where did you goooooooooo? Rider takes a few laser blasts to the altogether, and cries out in agony: "SHIIIIIIIIT, YO!" In his frustration, he grabs a nearby staircase and sends it flying towards Foxfire's head, shoulders knees and toes! You strike Foxfire with FRIDGE to the FACE. for 9 points of damage. BOTFIRE Foxfire is almost done. Rider is too. Foxfire does not care where Blitzwing has gone! He finds himself...trapped under a set of stairs? D'oh! "No faaaaair!" There go the flames again. Foxfire used fire. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Foxfire's Fire attack. Rider suggests we take each other out in a grand finale that leaves us both incapacitated in the marshmallows? GO ME! Rider says, "or do you want me just to fight back and see who wins? tell me quick! I have one minute!" Foxfire wants to wrap it up, actually! Chubby Jet got stopped by a friggen toll booth yo,.. In the sky! That's Crazy! Foxfire says, "Blitzwing wins." Rider dives deftly out of the way of the fire, which is the second time I've used the word "deft" tonight! Mid-dive, he transforms into his automobiliac mode, and makes a beeline for the door....via Foxfire! Rider slides down into his Caddy Escalade mode real easy fo' sheazy. Foxfire evades your All Up In Your Grille attack. FOXFIRE END THIS PLEASE Foxfire...evades? Imagine that! He darts back over to Jetfire, no longer interested in fighting. "I'll get you outta here, don't worry!" ME! Chubby Jet didn't have any change.. so he flipped the attendant off and ran right through it. Toll Booth. In The Sky! 2007 Cadillac Escalade SUV drives off into the sunset! Rider begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Chubby Jet, Autobot-Jet Hybrid . YOU! Foxfire doesn't...have anything to pose! Rider says, "Just pose...fading out!" AND THE SCENE FADES.........................TO BLACK. Rider says, "THE END>" Rider says, "Fifty minutes!" Jetfire cheers! Foxfire says, "Yay!" Rider says, "People...you all rock my world. :)" Blitzwing says, "Awesome." SCENE ENDS: 4:20::19 AM EST